Having a Crucial Conversation with Your Leader
Do you have too much on your plate? Do you feel the expectations set for you are not realistic? Or are you underutilized by your organization, and you want more impactful work to do?
All of these scenarios have the same answer. You need to have a serious conversation with your direct supervisor. Here are 5 steps to follow:
Prepare - do not go into a serious conversation like this unprepared, and NEVER go into it when you are frustrated or mad. If something happens at work that makes you angry, you need to get through it, then sit down and write about what it is that frustrated you, and the resolution you’d like to see. If it can be avoided, do not speak with your supervisor while angry.
Be solution oriented. Put yourself in your boss’s shoes. More than likely, she has people coming to her all day with problems. She would probably like to solve many of the problems, but her time and resources are limited. Write down your problem, and come up with some solutions. Bring those solutions to your boss.
Be realistic. If you want to get ahead at your company, you need to show people that you have business sense. So make sure your request is in line with budget concerns. If you go to your boss with the solution of ‘hire 5 more people’ - and your company just went through layoffs or is undergoing financial strain, you have to realize that she is going to A) say no and B) perhaps think of you as someone out of touch with the business, which could impact your promotability.
Communicate. Send anything you can in advance to help your boss mentally prepare for the conversation. Whether an email or a text, or however you communicate with them, saying something like this:
‘Hey, when we meet on Tuesday can we possibly discuss the staffing pattern? I had an idea I’d love to run by you if you wouldn’t mind.’
There were a few things there I want you to take note of. Words like ‘possibly’ and ‘if you wouldn’t mind’ help to show your boss that you understand this may not be possible - you are making a SUGGESTION. See how different that previous text seems from a message like this?
‘When we meet Tuesday we need to talk about the staffing pattern. It’s not working.’
Doesn’t that feel aggressive? A message like that is certain to put your boss on the defensive, and possibly give you the reputation of being a complainer. Also - note from the first message the language we used: ‘an idea I’d love to run by you.’ This shows that you respect her opinion. You have an idea, you want to hear what she thinks. It also shows that you are grateful for her time. You don’t want to hear her opinion, you’d LOVE to hear her opinion. This is the kind of thing that will put her at ease and make her more open to your idea.
Find a win in the situation. Remember that the problem you are going to your boss with is generally your problem. The boss probably has LOTS of problems to solve, so yours might not be the priority. That does not mean the organization does not value you - it just means the time is not right to fix the particular problem you are having at this moment.
But that doesn’t mean that your crucial conversation should go to waste. Find a win in the situation by trying to learn something new about your company. If you are told no, really dig into the ‘why.’ More than likely, the reason you can’t have what you want is financial, but understanding your leader’s perspective, with regard to allocation of resources, can be beneficial to you for future conversations.
Follow up. Whatever the resolution, find a way to follow up. One easy way - send a thank you to your boss. Just a ‘Hey, thanks so much for hearing me out, I know you have a lot going on,’ can be beneficial to your situation. What you need is for your boss to be willing to listen to your ideas. Being respectful and grateful can go a long way to help you build a feedback relationship.
Take any to-dos seriously. Perhaps you went to the boss with your new staffing pattern idea, and she had concerns. What will this do for the budget? How can we be sure everything is covered if we make this shift? Offer to do the analysis your boss is looking for to give your idea momentum. Is this extra work for you? Yes. Is it on top of your current duties, which may already feel overwhelming? Yes. But guess what - no one got to the top by clocking in exactly 40 hours every week and never doing any extra work. This is YOUR problem, and your boss is willing to help you solve it. Put in the work to make it happen - then remind people you made it happen. This is the kind of thing you will put on your resume and talk about in future job interviews. You identified a problem and came up with an actionable solution that resulted in better alignment. Take credit for it!
